Someone typed that search into Google a while back, “I wish I didn’t have asperger’s” and today the autism blogosphere is answering this anonymous Searcher back. Perhaps one of our messages will get to this soul.
First, Searcher, let me tell you that I don’t know you, but I love you for your search. Who among us hasn’t felt what you must have been feeling as you typed in those words? It can be a frightening thing to feel alone and that there is no one to turn to as you face down your Asperger’s. I understand that. The answers seem few and far between, and there are very few places to turn to for help that are actually helpful and truly understanding of your difficulties. It leads to internet searches, tossing around hoping to find one other needle in the haystack of humanity that “gets” you. Well…here we are.
With any luck, Searcher, the positive messages in this web-wide flash blog are getting to you somehow. A whole community pulling for YOU, my friend I’ve never met, because we do understand what you must have been feeling and we are here for you. I think that says far more than me going on and on about the joys of stimming or having a freakishly awesome memory, or being able to find incredible joy in words or bicycles or trains that “normal” or standard-issue people can’t even begin to touch.
I have been where you are, Searcher, but after a time I learned to flip the negative parts of my diagnosis just like flipping a coin. We do like to think in terms of black or white, don’t we? So, it’s natural for us to see the Asperger’s as an only good or only bad thing. One thing I’ve learned about the times when I’ve had that thought “I wish I didn’t have Asperger’s…” is that my view of my diagnosis was usually only focusing on the “dark” side of the coin. Making a conscious effort to flip that coin, and look at the positives has helped me find a lot more happiness in my life–something I wish for all of us.
What’s on the bright side? Well, look around the aspie blogosphere today, and you are likely to find lots. Let’s call it Awesomeness Syndrome instead of Asperger’s Syndrome, first off, and take a look at the bright sides. You will never be a phony or a liar. You will always see the detail NTs will tend to miss. You are an unconventional expert in your special interest. You are a human being, and like all human beings your potential to achieve, accomplish or pursue your dreams is generally only limited by your own self. I also know that being aspie makes us a little more tenacious and passionate about our passions–which gives us a distinct advantage over non-aspies in the making our dream a reality department. So…what are you waiting for? Go get ’em!
Click here for more autism positivity blogs and responses to Searcher.